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Rin [userpic]

Spring is coming, I'm sure...

March 1st, 2007 (10:32 pm)
distressed

current location: campus
current mood: distressed
current song: Awake - Josh Groban

By next year, if I'm going to get into med school after I graduate, I need to apply by next year. NEXT YEAR. This semester and next year to boost my grades up even higher. To co-author a paper. To do...

Well, better start writing down what I need to do.

- Find a research lab in the area with the potential to co-author a paper
- Take some summer courses to take the strain off of the fall courses (plan to take physics and english this semester, or maybe another GPA-boosting class)
- Look into what is needed for grad/medical schools and plan financial aid/academic steps for last 2 years

And...I guess it won't be so bad to apply after I graduate. I don't know what I want to do after all. I want to be a doctor of some sort - PhD or medical doctor. Not vet school like I thought of before...for personal reasons. I almost wish I was in a major that would lock me into something. All these choices...how do I know if I'm making the right one?

What do I even want to do? I thought I wanted to become a doctor...and maybe I still do - but...there's so much...

I just need to talk to my parents lol, they're good at advice. :D Vacation will give me enough time to vent my frustrations. I was talking to my friends, and I was trying to figure out just why I want to be a doctor. It's not for the money...really, it's not. I can get a PhD and really do my best and make a good amount of money to keep me going, and to raise a family - which is what I want to do at one point in my life, when I'm ready. But I know I want to help people - I want to help this place, this world that I love with the people I love. But...how?

On a separate note... =D my friend just sent me the BEST present ever, out of the blue, and it totally saved me this week from having a mental "crash". Two boxes of things he bought me in HK. TWO! Big boxes with the little stuff I love. :D :D :D He's the best!!!! I can't even say...I was sitting there and smiling.

And I almost passed out this morning for no reason, it was frightening. I was lightheaded going down the stairs from my TAs office too, good thing my friend and V-man was there.

Rin [userpic]

:D

February 22nd, 2007 (10:34 pm)
bouncy

current location: campus
current mood: bouncy
current song: Purachina

:D Got my exams back (though I refuse to check my comparative neuro exam score) and all As.

:D Got a package from Coro-kun for Valentine's Day - a card and chocolates. XD He should be with someone by now, he's too sweet! And and and, he gives GREAT chocolates, I give him my stamp of approval! (My favorite is between the macciato and cappucino truffle.) :D Gonna send him something for White Day (yes I think it's backwards lol but to be fair, it's not celebrated here in the states). Although I have to get it out pronto if it's going to arrive there in time.

:D Vacation is in one week and I just had a long weekend.

:D Gotta finish this lab and then I'm clear...well, another minor lab to be written next week, and a big long lab report to be written during the vacation...but it's okay. Actually now that I think about it I also have another report due for compneuro, but later...though I should start working on it now.

:D The weather has been really good so far! Actually now it's cold again and a little snowy but it's okay. It was warm the past two days to the point where I was running around jacketless.

:D And Meredith is alive. <3 And together with Derek. Greys Anatomy ftw! XD I cried for most of that episode.

And I can't think anymore, gonna go finish my lab.


Addendum: watched a play that was required for my theatre and society class called "The Death of May MacAllister" Pretty good for a new play, but I felt that it dragged just slightly.

Rin [userpic]

WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

February 16th, 2007 (10:07 pm)
exhausted

current location: home
current mood: exhausted
current song: Breathe

Oh. My. GOD. What a week! And on Valentine's Day of all days!

I'm so tired! Pulled a stunt this week where I stayed up all night studying for a test, then went on to the rest of my classes for the day. I was apparently quite funny to watch, according to my friends. One of them said I looked like a deer in the headlights. At around 3AM that night, the people I was studying with started laughing hysterically for no reason whatsoever. Best part is we couldn't stop for a bit so everyone kept looking at us oddly, even the security guard. (This was day before Valentine's day btw.) It's not like I put off studying because I didn't want to study, I was studying for comparative neurobiology for Monday's exam.

So anyway, on Valentines Day, the weather is terrible - there was a snowstorm the night before (classes weren't cancelled, although on hindsight they should've cancelled them because it was quite dangerous to get through to campus for those commuting in - mainly professors who live offcampus) and by the morning of the exam, it had turned to freezing rain. So we were slogging through the snow and rain to take an exam which took up the entire class block. Now it's my experience that most exams here don't take up the full period - and if it does, it's a tough exam. I was the only one who finished in time, partially because I started from the back and worked my way forward (good choice, because the back were things I knew right off the top of my head and it saved me time later). But it was a close finish.

Anyway I wound up going to all my classes that day even though I stayed up all night, although I missed my alarm the next morning and missed a class. Although if I had to miss a class, it was that one because all of it was covered in my Comp Neuro class! ;___; I hate missing class though.

Grey's Anatomy this week...I was sobbing. And now I'm even more tired watching it again. XD I think I'll get some sleep, it's a good long weekend since Monday is a holiday and Tuesday I have no classes. I'll be studying for organic chemistry since I have an exam Wednesday - but Dad was an orgo professor so he's helping me out.

I don't even know if I want to go to med school...but I'm going to do my best whatever I choose to do!

Better update this weekend, take care!

Rin [userpic]

kimi ga ita scene

February 7th, 2007 (09:22 pm)
productive

current location: campus
current mood: productive
current song: Kimi wa ita scene

Deeeeeeeeep breath. And exhale. And deeeeeeeep breath. And exhale.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been stressful for the past few days, but now I've calmed down and focused! Finished all my labs due this week - and I must say I'm quite proud of the synthesis reactions I've put in my orgo report haha. Now I can just focus on studying. Comp neuro I've done all the reading in the book for, now I just have to digest all the stuff in the supplementary material...so much reading! And then aniphys...

But I can do it! I'm sure I'll be fine!

I happened to find this song in my iPod. I like the music, and the lyrics are nice but it doesn't apply to me at the moment - but it does remind me of something a friend of mine is going through...


Kimi Ga Ita Scene
Song!
"Eien" no imi ga mada wakaranai kedo
Omoide ni kawaru toki nani ka ga hajimaru yo
Ima demo tokidoki kimi no yume wo miru
Odayaka na hoshi no furu yoru ni

Furimuita kimi wa nani ka iikakete
Sono kage wo asa no hikari keshite iku
Zutto issho ni itai yo to ie mo sezu
Damatte te wo furu shika dekinakatta ano koro...

"Sayonara" no kizu ni mune ga itamu kedo
Atarashii deai wo ima wa shinjite itai
Kisetsu wa megutte me ni utsuru sora wa
Kinou yori mabushiku mieta yo

Kimi ga ita shiin ippo fumidashite
Arukidasu Mou furikaeri wa shinai
Senaka wo mukete sono ato no tameiki mo
Kimi to sugoshita koto no kinen ni nareba ii ne?
Ashita e to tsuzuku michi wa tookute mo
Atatakai kaze ga soko ni wa fuite iru

"Eien" no imi ga mada wakaranai kedo
Omoide ni kawaru toki nani ka ga hajimaru yo
"Sayonara" no kizu ni mune ga itamu kedo
Atarashii deai wo ima wa shinjite itai


English Translation
A Scene With You
Even though I still don't understand the meaning of "eternity,"
something starts anew when it becomes memories.
Even now, I dream about you at times,
in the nights full of peaceful stars.

You turned towards me and were about to say something,
and that shadow is going to disappear in the morning light.
I couldn't even say, "I want to stay with you forever,"
but to only wave in silence, at that time

Even though my heart hurts from the wound of farewell,
I now want to believe in a new encounter.
Seasons come and go, and the sky that reflects in my eyes
could be seen brighter than yesterday.

From the scene with you, taking a step forward,
I start to walk, without looking back anymore.
The sigh after you turned your back on me,
is it all right to make that a memory of our time spent together as well?
Roads lead into the future, however far,
the warm winds will be blowing in there.

Even though I still don't understand the meaning of "eternity,"
something starts anew when it becomes memories.
Even though my heart hurts from the wound of farewell,
I now want to believe in a new encounter.

Rin [userpic]

the electrical potential of a resting neuron

February 5th, 2007 (09:18 pm)
cold

current location: campus
current mood: cold
current song: Fruits Candy

Let's see...Wednesday I have an essay exam on Death of a Salesman. Monday next week I have a multiple-choice/true-false exam for comparative neurobiology. And then on Wednesday (Valentines Day D:) an exam for animal physiology.

XD I'm up to my ears in reading, but it's not that bad. I'm reviewing comparative neuro, and luckily the first few chapters are basically review from basic biology. Animal physio is similar, but mainly from class notes so there's only review involved. The hardest part about the comparative neuro class is all the supplemental material he posted on blackboard that we have to read - but it's quite interesting really, and it does help in understanding the class material. At the same time I'm working on memorizing organic chemistry - that class overwhelms me sometimes with the rest of the courses I'm taking, so I've opted to do memorization instead of comprehension at this point. I think that if I memorize and get a good grade on the exam, I'll breathe easier. :D Death of a Salesman I think I'll brood over for the next day - I've been doing that for the past week in preparation so it's not that bad.

I'm sure I'll be fine! Daijoubu! :D

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my orgo professor - he's boring but he's a good guy. After that me and Court are going to Starbucks to go and study for AniPhys and then we're off to Unos for lunch. After that I'm meeting mom to have tea and more studying after that!

Today was so cold, even though I bundled up very well. Actually I thought I did, but I forgot to put on a pair of leggings under my jeans and the wind cut right through them. X_X; :D But I put a pair on after morning classes and then I was fine - although parts of my skin are so sensitive now they're tender to touch. D: On a funny note, it's so cold that I get phonecalls from friends on campus instead of them hiking (and me hiking) across a ten-minute walk to go see them. XD And I made it to class in record time - I left early and got to class with more than 10 minutes to spare - I must've sprinted!

Me and Erin planned for a possible trip coming up, and had some conversations while debating on what to do for housing next year. Housing is expensive...we were considering finding an apartment off-campus or something, but the ones we found for a good deal are in a sketchy part of the city. X____X;

:D Me gonna do more reading now and then sleep so I can wake early. Busy day tomorrow!

Take care!

Rin [userpic]

la forza che ci dai e'il desiderio che ognuno trovi amore intorno e dentro a sé...

February 4th, 2007 (06:40 pm)
thoughtful

current location: campus
current mood: thoughtful
current song: The Prayer - Josh Groban and Charlotte Church

The past few days have been busy as usual! I was talking to a friend of mine trying to figure out the candy that I was trying to remember the name of and I figured it out! It's called "Munchies" and it (ironically enough) has some caramel in it. And I've been sayiing that it doesn't have caramel all along! Well whatever it was, it was delicious, and that's what I'm going to try and get, or see if I can find it here. :D My TA for AniPhys says that there's a store close to the city that sells imported chocolates and other goods, so I'll drop by this weekend.

I find it amusing that my roommates drink more than I do.

In lab today we're supposed to synthesize a compound that has a melting point of about 104-105. Well...my melting point was at 70C! That was funny, and then someone else got a melting point of 49 and that was funnier.

I just had a conversation with a friend of mine about love...and when he was talking to me I just realized that I really don't know what love is. I mean, I know there are different types of love, because it's not all the same. But...what is it? With that in mind, I don't even know if I'd realize it if I was in love - and maybe that's a little frightening, or disturbing. What is it?

I was talking to a friend of mine on AIM and she suddenly disappeared for a little bit. So I keep on folding clothes (I did laundry today :D) and putting them away when she suddenly IMd me again and the reason why she suddenly went MIA: "I just lit my kitchen on fire" It was funny after I stopped tweaking out, haha! Then again, I managed to do that while cooking pasta last year so I guess I shouldn't talk...

I need to puzzle over some things for a bit, but I'm sure after a while I'll figure something out I hope. Until then, ja ne!

And also...it's cold! And it'll get colder!


I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your Grace
To a place where we'll be safe

La luce che to dai (The light that you give us)
I pray we'll find your light
Nel cuore resterò (Will stay in our hearts)
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarchi che (Reminding us)
When stars go out each night
L'eterna stella sei (That in my prayer)
Nella mia preghiera (You are an everlasting star)
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c'è (There's so much faith)
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe.
Sognamo un mondo senza più violenza (We dream of world with no more violence)
Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza ( A world of justice and hope)
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino (Grasp your neighbors hand)
Simbolo di pace e di fraternità (As a symbol of peace and brotherhood.)

La forza che ci dai (The strength that you give us)
We ask that life be kind
E'il desiderio che (Is the wish)
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amore (That everyone may find love)
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a sé (In and around himself)
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

E la fede che (And the faith that)
Hai acceso in noi (You've lit inside us)
Sento che ci salverà (I feel will save us )

Rin [userpic]

waiiiii!

January 31st, 2007 (06:04 pm)
grateful

current location: campus
current mood: grateful
current song: Arigatou

:D Well today was interesting. Overslept my alarm but made it to class right in time (X_X; you'd think I'd grow out of that...) I feel like I'm more tired lately. Like I sleep enough, but my body is still tired. :o That's a little concerning, but I'm sure it might have to do with the cold and everything will be fine!

Suspicious packages were found all over the city today and people thought they were bombs, so squads had to come detonate them. Turns out they were marketing ploys by a company gone wrong! People must be so mad...even the mayor broadcasted a demand for the "pranks" to stop, since they had to close down places all over Boston to bring in the squad to detonate the "suspicious packages". I'm glad that it's nothing more than a scare, really, but people shouldn't have done that. At least we know that the city seems to be capable of handling situations like these!

Little sister said that a friend of hers is going to England and can get candy for us - unfortunately, aside from Cadbury chocolates and other chocolates I'm requesting, there are these little square chocolates packaged like American Rolos that I love but I don't remember the name of them! ;_; I still haven't found them yet, and I've been searching all over the place. I should be writing my lab reports! Oh well, a little more hunting. :D

Unos in a bit with Barkada!

Theatre and Society is an interesting class. It actually made me think of success, and what people see it as - as well as what I would like to see happen with my life. If you ask me, I just want to find a job where I can travel and help people, and find someone who would love me more than anyone else - who I would love more than anyone else. My "number one" if you will. And I'd love to have a family. :D But I'm not frantically looking - Mom says that "he will show up" when the time is right. She's usually right, and always right when it comes to me and love. And...being rich scares me. I don't want to be so rich that people want to get you for your money, but I want to be able to care for my family. :D I think, a right balance is always good. I won't forget the work my parents went through to make sure we had food on the table when I was very young - because it was that hard work and determination that made us who we are today. I guess when it comes down to it...I want to be like my parents after all!

Be well everyone! :D

kumo wa nagarete'ru kaze wa utaidasu
itsumo hashitte'ta kono michi no soba de
ima mo shiroi hana ga saite waratte iru

demo tomaranai mune ga tsumaru hodo
ima ga daisuki de dakedo sugite-yuku
sore wa mukashi naita yume no kakera no you

fuwafuwa to ukabu yasuragi mo
namida koboreru fuan mo
daiji na mirai ni tsunagatte-iru
hazu dakara

ashita ni natte mo
itsuka otona ni natte mo
kitto omoidashite ne
anata ga koko ni ita koto
wasurenai de ite
hiroi sekai no hate de mo
zutto kienai ima wo
minna arigatou

tsuki wa terashite'ru kaze wa nemutte'ru
itsumo waratte'ta kono machi no sora de
ima mo nagareboshi ga negai kanaete iru

demo wakaranai toki ga sugiru hodo
hanaretaku nakute dakedo tooku naru
sore wa kinou yonda hon no shiori no you

kirakira to hikaru akogare mo
donna kanashii kimochi mo
daiji na mirai ni tsunagatte-iru
hazu dakara

kisetsu ga sugite mo
dokoka shiranai machi de mo
kitto hirogatte-iku
minna ga koko ni ita koto
wasurenai de ite
chiisa na kono basho kara
sotto hajimatta koto
minna arigatou

yume wo noseta kuni wa
kioku kara tabidatsu
mata aeru yo
ima wa hohoende

itsumade tatte mo
dokoka tooku e itte mo
kitto shirasete hoshii
watashi ga koko ni ita koto
wasurenai de ite
hiroi sekai no dokodemo
zutto kienai omoi
minna arigatou

Thank you for all your tenderness
Thank you for all your happiness
Thank you for all your kindness
Thank you for all your everything...

English translationCollapse )

Rin [userpic]

nani ka ga...

January 30th, 2007 (09:08 pm)
sleepy

current location: campus
current mood: sleepy
current song: Magic of Happiness

After watching Hana Yori Dango all last night, I somehow managed to pull myself together to go to my eye doctor's appointment at 11PM this morning after dealing with some last-minute requests for a lab from class and some questions on orgo. It was COLD this morning, although somehow I should have been preapared for it. I was talking to the doctor during my checkup and he gave me advice for applying for medical schools, and how to prepare myself for it. :D That was most excellent. After that, I had lunch with Dad at Cheesecake Factory and had the shrimp scampi with angelhair, and he had the shepherd's pie. We brought home some food for little sister and Mom, and I brought back cheesecake and cake for the family. Me and Mom had tea with our cakes and cheesecakes, so much fun!

Clean up around here, it's nicer now with some of the dust and whatnot gone. I need to find a vacuum cleaner because the carpet is becoming quite scary. And the dishwasher is like a ticking trap waiting to happen...

I told Dad that after he gave a stamp of approval on the program he liked from the two Japanese programs I showed him, that he should plan the family trip so I can figure out scheduling. I told him that if he wanted to go home to the Philippines to visit family, that he should schedule it so that they take a stopover in Japan when I finish my program and let me show them around Japan. The one thing my Mom doesn't like is going into a country and being entirely clueless. It'll also be a nice way to show them what I learned. :D After they spend a week or so in Japan, we'll all fly to the Philippines to spend time with the family, and then fly home together. It'll be fun! But that's just in the making. XD We might wind up flying to Europe again.

Snow tomorrow...apparently the morning commute is going to be scary. XD Not that I have to drive or anything, but it'll be fun sliding across campus to class. :D Anyway, time to try and fix my sleep schedule - it's been tilting towards the later hours and I need to move it back because of my morning classes.

Tomorrow's schedule:
-Breakfast
-Class 9:15 to 11:35
-Lunch and study
-Class 1:35 to 4:30
-7PM Dinner at UNOs with Barkada
-Finish up AP lab

Thursday's schedule:
-Breakfast
-Class 9:15 to 11:35
-Lunch and finalize AP lab
-Class 1:35 to 2:40
-Break until 4:30
-AP Lab from 4:35 to 7:35
-Dinner
-Orgo lab writeup

Friday's schedule:
-Breakfast
-Finish chemistry lab
-Laundry
-Lunch
-Orgo lab 1:35 to 4:35
-FREEEEEEEEE

itsuka "shiawase no mahou"
anata no tame dake ni tsukaeru you ni
itsuka sutekina hito ni natte
watashi dake no mahou de shiawase ni shitai

Someday the "magic of happiness"
Will become useful to me
Someday, I'll become a wondeful person
I just want to bring happiness with my magic

Rin [userpic]

Kitto!

January 29th, 2007 (08:26 pm)
chipper

current location: campus
current mood: chipper
current song: Into the Woods - Original Cast

I took a peek at the work I have to do for my animal physiology lab, and I'm wishing I didn't. Although I am glad I checked and not the day before it was due! There's some work that has to be done, but now that I'm working through the things that need to go on it, it's not that bad at all. That class isn't so bad actually, as long as I attend the class because the professor (though he may seem a little altogether not-there in an absent-minded professor sort of way) does pay close attention, and class participation is key. Woohoo! And I'm doing alright too so it's just as good! The TA for lab must have thought I was fluffy when she first saw me, but then lightened up once I showed that I knew what I was doing, haha.

Roommate war is waging over my head, and I didn't even realize. Oee!

The orgo exam today was pretty good! One of the problems I was working on took me a while to get it, but once I figured it out (it was almost a trick question) it was pretty cool. I was trying everything to deduce the molecule from the mass spec/IR/NMR data, and making some pretty funky molecules - and it turned out to be quite simple. Got out early, finished calculating my AP data and sent that out, then trekked back to class. I love theatre and society - I just wish I had time to really enjoy it instead of having that one hour class to absorb what she has to say and then sprint off to the next class. Comp neuro was painful as usual, but I stayed awake!

I'm waiting for my friend to come by to cook and have dinner with me, but she's working late on an issue at the newspaper here. Tonight is gyuudon (beef with mirin and onions), with (I think) stir-fried red bell peppers and lettuce and tomato on the side. I'm hoping she brings another veggie though, it would be nice to have something green with the peppers. Rice on the side of course! No dessert...actually tea and chocolate Pocky could be something to consider. @_@ I'm soooooo hungry!

I'm waiting for my Dad to finish looking over the programs in Japan so he can get back to me on the one he recommends. I can't tell if he's looking them over, though, or has forgotten about it completely. XD

I can't get the table to format correctly in Excel. ;_; But my friend is heading over now with food and J-DRAMAS! Yuppie! No school tomorrow either, but have an eyedoctor appointment but that means NEW GLASSES AND CONTACTS! :D :D :D On another note, it's so dry here I have to keep lotioning every two minutes. C'est la vie! At least my skin will be soft!

Need to do laundry tomorrow. :o And will post to-do list later. XD

Rin [userpic]

Cold!

January 26th, 2007 (08:53 pm)
cold

current location: Home
current mood: cold
current song: (Chirping budgies!)

"The yellow eyes looked at Will again, but they did not see him now; they had grown cold, abstracted, a chill fire mounting in them that brought the cruel lines back to the face. But Will saw the cruelty now as the fierce inevitability of nature..."
- from Susan Cooper's "The Dark is Rising"



The temperature reading for the outside temperature read 4 degrees (farenheit) this morning, though it didn't feel that cold stepping outside. Maybe we're getting used to the cold weather! A string of warm days would be welcome, though a cold spell after that would seem even colder. Daijoubu!

I was rereading some books that I used to read when I was younger, spurred by the discussions we had in theatre class. I have a feeling that, like good plays (emphasis on "good" being something well-written that survives the test of time), good books can be reread and reread to offer a new way to look at things, or something that hadn't been seen before. Back when I read "The Dark is Rising", I had been interested in the plot and the concept of magic - rereading it, I was still interested in that, but nuances in her words began to emerge, that I had not though about consciously. There is another quote in the book that took on a different meaning when read - when these words were said, the man had been tossed off the back of a horse during a getaway. He had been helping the people of the "Dark", and when they were losing, the man who he had been accompanying tossed him off the back of his horse - and broke his back in the fall.

"Those who ride high with the Lords of the Dark must expect to fall. And men do not fall easily from such heights."


The cold makes me tired, probably because it takes so much energy to be out and about in it. But it's going well - the walk is quick and I don't linger outside if I don't have to. Lab went well today! The TA seems gruff but I think he just has to give that impression at the beginning so people take him seriously. It's quite funny when the other professors and teachers run around in the background to help the students and arguing about the better way to do the lab (when both work just as well). The fumes of the cyclohexanol were getting to all of us though - it's strong!

Tomorrow I will study for the exam on Monday and then submit the data for AP before tomorrow night so I can get it reviewed.

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